A Tampa Bay Buccaneer

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February 15, 2016 by JImbo

We went to Tampa for vacation because…why not?
And… it’s NEGATIVE TEMPERATURES in New York in February.

Holy crap were those tacos good. I think they make the Mexican Coke with actual cocaine though. It’s addicting.

THIS is what gas costs in a state is like without all the extra taxes like New York. No income tax either. If the traffic wasn’t homicidal I could consider moving there.

Seriously, I figure the state motto has to be: “I do what I want!” They don’t drive there they just sorta drift in and outta lanes.

No, wait. They already have a motto. It’s “Florida: Where everything goes to die.”

I lost count of the number of tombstone businesses we passed. HUGE demand for those apparently. Not sure if it’s from all the old timers moving there or the alarmingly high number of traffic accidents.

Those two probably aren’t entirely unrelated come to think of it.

This is my new mascot, the Bear Moose. Majestic. Graceful. Will mess you up in six different ways if you piss it off.

I was very disappointed that machine sold water…not penguins. What the hell man?

The ducks were everywhere. They ruled the roost. I imagine they are the annoying A-holes that fly between cages, taunting the other animals who are in prison. They steal food and tease the other animals mercilessly. Screw you ducks.

I thought it was just a lot of nice fish…then I saw they were just cheap food for the gator up there. Now THAT is how you run a zoo. None of this separate cages. Just let nature take its course. Gonna need a lot of replacements though.

Busch Gardens- Pantopia. Just neat artchitecture.

Totally not phallic at all with the riders sliding up and down that pole.

No, not a gay ride at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Steampunk dog and cat.

See the tiger?

Note: There is no “tiger pop up.” There is a speaker that growls at small children and scares the crap out of them (literally…ewwww) but not but a “pop up.”

Too bad.

This immediately reminded me of Nyan Cat.

Yes, I know. WAY too much time on the Internet…

 

I know. I know. You’re asking “You went to the Salvador Dali museum and all you could manage to take a picture of some lame hot sauce bottles in the gift shop?”

Well, for your information they didn’t allow pictures in the art gallery.

But there was an exhibit in the lobby.

Sadly this sign was cooler than the actual exhibit which was a car filled with water.

I guess it was funny in the Surrealist Art crowd?

Good times.

Oh sure they SAID it was just an educational science museum but I’m onto them.

This is the principle for building a magnetic high velocity rail gun.

No I won’t “stop scaring the children and/or inciting them to overthrow the established authorities.”

Hey, free country man.


So all you need to do is magnetize your windshield and water will shoot off from it?

For those times when you really need to wear a headlamp, but you’re dressing classy at the same time. Mining for diamonds perhaps.

Yarrr! We don’t go on vacation. We don’t cruise. We plunder!

Silly pirates. Hostages are for ransoming! You can’t make money feeding them to the sharks! What a terrible business model.

Genius! Practical and profitable.

Would this be the “poop deck?”

I crack myself up.

This is me flipping off all the rush hour traffic from the deck of a pirate ship.

Suckers!

Quickly becoming Graybeard… and I’m good with that. This might just be my next career move.

Some videos:

 

There are so many ways why this is a very bad name for a business.

At the very least it’s confusing to different… clientele.

 

What adventure would be complete without a MYSTERY?

What is that UFO?

OOoooohhheeeeeoooooo!

Turns out it was some dude with a kite and way too much free time.

 

 

 

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