February 19, 2015 by JImbo
To sum up for those who aren’t following these things…
The European Union (mostly Germany since they have the better economy and money) loaned Greece a LOT of money.
BILLIONS of dollars.
Why? Because Greece spends a LOT of money…and their economy sucks. So, they don’t collect much money. However, they like nice things such as paid vacations and awesome pension plans along with free health care so they keep spending more than they make.
They ran out of money.
Germany primarily loaned them some. Germany did however say “I have to know you will be able to pay this back, so cut back on your spending and balance your budget.”
Greece took the money and like a spoiled child thumbed their nose at Germany saying essentially:
YOU DON’T OWN ME!
I DO WHAT I WANT!
THANKS FOR THE MONEY GRANDPA!”
Or something along those lines.
You get the idea.
Now, Greece has spent all that money.
The European Union patted Greece on the hand like a doting mother and said:
“Tsk tsk tsk. What AM I going to do with you, mister?”
To which Greece gave the EU puppy dog eyes and said:
“PLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEE??? I totally didn’t mean to elect Nazis into my government this last election and you know I need the money or I’ll staaaaaaaarve!”
Then the EU sighed and said
“Alright I’ll ask Germany. I’m sure he’ll give you some more money if I ask nice.”
When Germany came home he said:
“Lemme guess. Greece spent all his money again…”
The EU smiled prettily and said:
“Well, he spent it… but I’m sure it was on education and healthy food and things. He’s such a GOOD kid!”
Germany picked up the newspaper and grumbled:
“Education my rear end! He’s been hanging out with Italy and Spain. None of those bums ever have any money, always wasting it on booze and women!”
The EU said:
“Now Germany that’s not fair. They’re not BAD kids either. Not like that ISIS miscreant. The atrocious things he does anyway! Terrible family life I blame that on.”
Germany turned the page loudly of the newspaper, annoyed:
“I’m NOT giving that boy any more money until he PROVES he can be an ADULT about it and spend it WISELY!”
The EU pleaded:
“Now honey…we can’t just let him STARVE!”
Germany sat down with his newspaper and grumped:
“No, Europe that boy will NEVER learn his lesson until he learns fiscal responsibility! I will NOT squander my hard earned money so that lazy good for nothing can sit down there on the beach instead of getting a job and working!”
“Oh yeah, well I’m gonna go to Russia! He’ll give me money!”
Right now, Greece is lingering at the door, not really WANTING to go see creepy Old Man Russia (and whatever “favors” he might want in return for money) but he’s feeling all rebellious and spoiled.
Germany and Europe are bickering in the kitchen about what to do about the kid.
Italy and Spain are hanging out in the yard seeing what happens with Greece since they’re almost broke too.
The USA is watching from across the street shaking his head muttering:
“Glad those aren’t MY kids! I have enough trouble with the 50 I already got!”