Anger At Author’s Atypical Alien Alliteracy


September 18, 2014 by JImbo

Where does a Goblin learn a word like alliteration?



At what point in his short, miserable, cave dwelling uneducated life does a little green monster learn the word, let alone what it means and how to use  it correctly?

I could believe “it sounds like the other word” or “it starts the same when you say it.” They do have ears after all (big ones.)

Alliteration though? The word, definition and logical categorizing and generalizing thought processes?

Does he know perhaps a bit of Sociology and Philosophy to go with that English Literature degree?

I realize the author is trying to make a point. If so, narrate it. Don’t put it in a goblins simple thoughts.

The fun of knowing what a goblin is thinking is because we never do normally. They are seen but no one asks them their opinion before they are run through with a sword.

They are alien to us. They think different. That makes it interesting!

Why do you think all those talking cats on the Internet are funny?

Shit like this are what drive me nuts reading a story or watching a movie.

I get the big stuff. Sure there is magic. Okay dragons. Zombies whatever.

College educated goblins are where I draw the line.

It is right up there with asking us to believe that no one recognizes Clark Kent when he takes off his glasses. Sure he is an alien from Krypton. He can fly. He is bulletproof. He has x ray vision.

But are you kidding me? No one can make the connection? Did he ever take them off to tub his eye and gave the whole office panic that Superman was there? Then he clips them back on and they all look around comically puzzled where Superman went?

What do they think the audience I’d 2 years old? Scratch that.I think 2 year olds grasp the difference already.

Han beings pick up on social interactions way before they learn math and physics. It is ingrained on the human nature. So we look for it without seeking it in our stories.

Maybe that’s why it is do glaring when it is absent. People innately know when people atound them are a ting “funny” or odd. Similarly they puck up on when characters don’t feel right.

We accept things we don’t fully understand or pretend not to anyway. We just trust the author on it. Unless it I’d our area of experience we go with the flow.

With character interaction though we ALL have experience in that EVERY DAY. We instinctively know the signs. Omissions are glaring.

My puzzle is that authors so often miss this. They fail to get into the heads of their characters or even fail to catch it on the edit reading through.

Maybe I’m just being hypercritical. Maybe most folks don’t care. Maybe they just gloss over it while I’m playing literary detective.

It isn’t a murder mystery novel after all. Although I find myself second guessing those too. You realize when they’re interviewing “suspects” on TV just how much we depend on body language and expressions to see who us lying or hiding something.

Are they really telling the truth? Or are they just really bad at acting guilty? Or did the director not TELL them who really did it until the end yo get a better performance?

That’s why Perry Mason was such a great detective show. Do predictable. It was always the first “no name” walk on character who appeared on screen for all of 15 seconds.


The secretary that says “I’ll see if he’s in”… Guilty!

The shoeshine boy who asks if they want a shine.. Guilty!

The maintenance man just leaving the building who holds the door? Guilty!

It took the acting out of it. We knew they were all really innocent. Then it became a logic game of fitting that odd piece into the puzzle.

So what was the secretary’s motives? Love? Money? Power?

And how will they track the trail back to her by the end of the show? Now those were fun to watch.

What drives you batty and ruins your suspension of disbelief? Is there anything that will pull you suddenly out of a good book with a jolt when you see it? Does it then ruin that book or character for you after you see the flaw and now constantly loom for more “errors” without even meaning to?



2 thoughts on “Anger At Author’s Atypical Alien Alliteracy

  1. Chai says:

    Excessive comfort pandering. I can’t remain invested if a character is being treated like a damn porcelain doll by everyone else after a trams has occurred. A certain level of it is realistic to a degree but over indulging for paragraphs and reiterating a beaten to death point for the sake of coddling further development is tediously nauseating.

    And on the flip side if the character doesn’t react in any way distraught or at least bothered by a traumatizing situation after the fact I question why bother writing ten through that if it in no ways effects their grow or development in a story.

    I’m sure I have more but that’s the main one coming to mind here


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