Welcome to the New People- Here’s Some Old Stuff

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September 14, 2014 by JImbo

I was asked about some of the old stuff I did from back on Facebook and when I was overseas. Awful drawings and horrible powerpoint stuff.

But I thought it was funny.

People asked for me to post some of it. There is quite a lot of it though. I know MOST of you have no clue what I’m talking about, so it’ll be new to you.

What are you interested in seeing?

I’ll show you some samples and put it up for a vote.

 

CELL PHONE PSAs

Daleks Mister T

CLASSICAL CHARLIE SHEEN (Classical Art with Charlie Sheen Quotes)

golden sombrero Wax

DEMOTIVATORS (Satirical Parodies of Motivational Posters)

CONFIDENCE INDIVIDUALITY

DRAWINGS (done badly)

300-1 Smurf-Words

IF I WERE A LION…

4-daredevil 16-No shame

POLITICAL CRAP

Canadian Anti-Terrorism iVote- 1050x1400

RELIGIOUS STUFF

Adam the First Comedian Black Jesus

SHOPPING CART SAFARI

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QUOTES (aka “Stuff I Overheard at Work”)

People keep telling me I should put these in a book…

Examples

1- “I haven’t eaten in three months!”

2-“Hello I have to cancel my appointment since I’m having a heart attack. I’m currently in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”

 3-“Supervisors need to keep their pulse on the finger of the department.”

4- “I’m applying for them ‘T-n-A’ benefits” (sorry ma’am, we don’t supply THAT here)

5-“How did you go through a full tank of fuel in 20 days?” “My tank says “M” for “Empty” “You mean “M” for “Maximum”? “Oh.”

 6-“Client states he can’t take the bus because he doesn’t have ‘freedom to do what he’s gotta do’ in public on the bus.”

7-“A-HA! You Double-Dipping Spoon Licker!”

8-“I lost my foodstamps because of the arrest warrant put out on me while I was in the coma.”

9-“I’m under the influence that you’d pay my rent.”

10-“I don’t have recites for those items.”

11- “Q: What if the client has a question?

        A: We tend to discourage questions here…”

12-“My boobs hurt when babies cry.”

13-“I was told yesterday that the worker would call me if there was a problem and that if he didn’t call there was no problem. He didn’t call me, so I’m calling today to check to see if there’s a problem.”

14-“It’s like Star Wars out there. The guy in the booth sounds like Chewbacca and the other guy has lips like that fish guy.

15-“When we say work is like Nirvana here, we don’t mean paradise. We mean we feel like Kurt Cobain.”

 

What old crap would you like to see first?

You can choose more than one option.

Share with a friend.

Have a ball.

Go nuts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Welcome to the New People- Here’s Some Old Stuff

  1. JImbo says:

    So I guess no one’s interested?

    Like

  2. JImbo says:

    One of the 6…maybe 7. Thanks =-)

    Like

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