In Space Dogs Can’t Hear the Vacuum Cleaner Coming

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September 12, 2014 by JImbo

I dunno why I was thinking about this today but… you can’t use a vacuum cleaner in space. Maybe it was just watching “Spaceballs” too many times. It came as a sudden and disturbing revelation.


A vacuum cleaner works by creating lower air pressure inside than there is outside in the open air. it doesn’t seem like it, but all around you the air is pressurized to 14.7 pounds per square inch. It’s just equally pressured on all sides.

Inside a vacuum cleaner, the air inside is sucked out and replaced by… nothing… and nothing is less dense than air so… stuff gets sucked inside to replace that big space of nothing.

In space, it’s ALREADY a vacuum so you can’t get lower than nothing. There is no “negative air pressure” that I know of. So, sadly you can’t use a vacuum in space.

(Well there is a TINY TINY TINY TINY TINY TINY bit of stuff in space, but ya know what… close enough. One particle per billion or trillion isn’t enough to matter.)

My point is… Spaceballs YOU TRICKED ME!!!spaceballs

And that astronauts are slobs up there. They gotta be. If you can’t clean up after yourself what other choice is there?

You can’t mop up there. There’s no gravity. The water would just float around in huge globules and you’d have to chase/space-swim after it with a mop like you’re chasing some clear, fluid alien blob creature.

Or… ohmigod! What about flushing??? Without a vacuum to suck that down there’s be turd creatures floating around saying “howdy doo.” Bring a whole new literal meaning to “shit storm.”


Just kidding.

They can totally take a crap in space. The AIR inside the space station is earth air pressure basically. Honestly, how could they breathe otherwise?

Just messin’ with ya.

But a giant space vacuum that can suck up a planet… no.

Damn you Spaceballs. Now how are you going to steal all the world’s natural resources? The old fashioned way by invading them?


Although this is the most warmongering President we’ve had in…well… ever.

What is that

Obama has bombed Libya, Somalia, Yemen, Afghanistan and Iraq.

He is still trying to bomb Syria.

He instigated uprisings in about 17 other countries (Ukraine, Libya, Egypt, Tunisia, Jordan, Qatar, Yemen, etc)

That’s a pretty tough record to beat.

He makes Reagan and Bush look like amateurs at this whole “attack the world” shit.

AND he gets the Nobel Peace Prize for it!

Now THAT takes some talent!


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