A Journey Down the Rabbit Hole

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August 27, 2014 by JImbo

I think I get where Lewis Carroll was coming from when he wrote Alice in Wonderland. It wasn’t the drugs. He just had too much imagination. I know some people who entirely lack imagination. I have plenty so I tend to share it with them from time to time.  Helps even things out.

I don’t know how people can be BORED. I really don’t. Even when you’re not DOING anything, you can always THINK about something.

Have we really gotten to a place as a society where people can’t use their imagination or think for themselves? Do they really need someone or something else to entertain them? Whatever happened to making kids think up their own games to play? Making the rules is half the fun!

My brain is usually going way too fast way too off the rails most of the day. People say “you’re always so BUSY!” Well, I HAVE to stay busy because if I’m not, then I start thinking. That can be dangerous. Must…stay… focused…

I’ll show you what I mean. Here is a typical snippet of thought process from today.

Sometimes the ideas have to come out and … good or bad… be looked at in the light of day.

The point isn’t so much if it is a good or bad idea.
I think it’s more of the process.

It is the practice in THINKING. You can’t get stronger by not lifting weights. You don’t get better at running by sitting on your ass. The same is true with using your brain.

 However, I think way too much and come up with some really outlandish ideas. It’s part of the whole synergy of ideas from throughout the day. I’d like to call it “creativity” but it often just ends up as some really really off the wall ideas that most practical, rational people immediately:

  1. Dismiss as silly
  2. set on fire
  3. then bury deep underground, never to speak of again.

Not me however. I often SHARE these really awful ideas. And you lucky folks get to be the target of all that helpful sharing!



It begins with Inspiration from a bunch of different sources:

  1. a) Cost of Stealth fighter and failure of F-35 and even “cheap” missiles/bombs are tens of thousands if not millions of dollars. Seriously a “cheap” Sidewinder missile now costs $660,000.


  1. b) Read a story about how Korean jets had hard time intercepting biplanes because they were too slow. Our “advanced jets” (written in 1953) were just “too fast to intercept them.” Some of them even crashed because they tried to slow down to the speed of the North Korean biplanes and stalled.
  2. c) Iranian problem in the Persian Gulf (and China)
  3. d) Satellite photos show Iran built a huge fake “US aircraft carrier” to practice against

At this point the ideas start to mix together.

“If I were Iran… what would I do? I’m not going to go toe to toe with the US Navy with my 1970s jets. Soooo….”


Possible solution?

Why doesn’t Iran just take the money they could invest in new planes that will get shot up by ours… and build a TON of cheap biplanes?

Research (usually during lunch instead of eating since food is boring):

A “new” biplane costs about $100,000 fully built and improved from the original.

A US Navy fighter (F/A-18E) costs about $67 million, baseline model.

With missiles and everything, two of them would be about $150 million.

That means two US Navy jets on patrol could be ambushed by 1,5000 biplanes for the same cost.

<insert maniacal laughter at the absurdity of that>

*rub chin thoughtfully and pretend to twirl evil handlebar moustache I keep thinking about growing* (also get a top hat and monocle)

Practical application?

Well, maybe biplanes would be a bit too much. The Iranians don’t need to take out EVERY US fighter… just take out the aircraft carrier and all those expensive fighters go into the water anyway with nowhere to land.

Biplanes can’t carry many bombs. However, they still make P-51s from World War II. They can carry a couple 1,000 lb bombs for a long ways. They have guns and are really maneuverable. Not JET-fast but faster than biplanes.

Bit more expensive. Figure a brand new one for $1 million.

That’s still 75:1 odds for the US Navy.

Plus, if even ONE gets through that’s a big hole in the aircraft carrier.



What can the carrier battlegroup use to defend itself?

Carrier, Cruiser, Destroyer… that’s about it. Oh and the planes on the carrier.

Alright conservative estimate…

30 fighters x 10 missiles                                                         

Aegis cruiser full of 120 Surface to Air Missiles

Aegis destroyer full of 80 Surface to Air Missiles

That’s about 500 missiles they could shoot.

Even if every one hit (they’re more like 85% at best) that’s still over 500 Iranian P-51’s getting to the US ships.

That’s about $20 billion in hardware we have sitting off the coast of Iran.

With $1 billion they can buy 1,000 P-51s and overwhelm us. Half get through. If just 1% of those get through that’s 10 massive hits on our ships. They’ll probably sink most if not all of them.

Honestly it doesn’t really matter. If our ships are out of missiles, they can’t shoot back. The Iranians could just keep going back for more bombs until they sink them all.



Hope the Iranians haven’t thought of this already. Or the Chinese. Or North Koreans. Or the Russians.


How could we defend against this in a cost-effective way? More anti-aircraft guns instead of missiles? Use armored battleships instead of flimsy light unarmored guns with lots of missiles?

We know how easily the USS Cole was knocked out by one suicide bomber, let alone 1,000 enemy aircraft.


I think about this stupid shit WAY too much. If I could put this amount of time into something useful like business or sales I’d be a billionaire! Ah screw it.

Although it’d make a neat book or movie!



Consider next idea.

Similar idea?

So… it might even be cheaper if the Iranians used speedboats… easier to hide too if they’re inflatable powerboats. 1,000 aircraft are too hard to hide…

Or entirely different idea?

Ya know… most Sci Fi seems to be either American or British. You never heard about Pakistani Science Fiction or Nigerian or Canadian. Do they even HAD science fiction in those countries? They must have somebody writing something. They have authors and TV writers.

Then again, who watches Nigerian TV outside of Nigeria? Same with the rest of them. Occasionally we get a Canadian TV channel here accidentally but that’s about it.

What would their take on science fiction be like?

Would the Pakistani version of Doctor Who involve helping Hitler kill the Jews?

Would the French Knight Rider involve a guy tooling around Paris on a talking moped?

Would the Canadian Star Trek involve Kirk being super polite and professional to every green alien girl he met while NOT punching at least 5 people per episode? Unless there’s a hockey game of course.

And now I want to make a Canadian Star Trek movie.

Like that show “Due South” about the Mountie in Chicago… only there is no “South” in space.

Could still have Mounties instead of Red Shirts however. I’d feel worse when they died though.

They’re so POLITE!

I wonder if they could beam down to a planet on the horse or they’d have to beam separate to avoid any nasty “accidents.”


 Although Canadian Space Centaurs… now there’s a concept!

Aw c’mon.

Is it really any worse than the “Kardashians” or “Twilight?”


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