July 24, 2014 by JImbo
What are musicals without music? No, that’s not a trick question like “What’s the sound of one hand clapping” or something deeply philosophical. I’m serious.
The answer is… SHORT MOVIES! I’ve never seen a musical where anything useful was added to the plot by dancing or singing. Sure aesthetically you can argue they’re fun if you like that sort of thing. They’re colorful and flashy.
Personally I’m a bit biased because the moment the dance routines start with the music it’s like nails on a chalkboard in a room of crying babies. It is physically painful. I will leave the room if it gets bad enough.
I don’t know where it comes from. We watched Wizard of Oz and things growing up. At some point however it got progressively harder to sit through what amounted to torturous interludes between bits of good movie.
I’m at a loss to explain it myself. I love music. I love movies. Put them together and the result is awful. Some things just don’t go together because of personal taste.
To quote comedian Dave Attell “Some things just aren’t meant to go together. I like cotton candy. I like whiskey. I like to smoke. But put them all together and that’s some serious funk. You walk in and are like “OHMIGOD, did someone just screw a drunk clown in here?”
There can’t be many of us, but I bet there’s a niche market for musicals with the musical crap cut out. Just solid movie, good actors, and decent dialogue.
Sure they’d only be half as long but that’s their CHARM. That’s the big selling point. You can sell them to the musically challenged or maybe people in a hurry.
There’s gotta be people who don’t want to sit for a full 2 hour movie. They can pop in a DVD with a dozen old classics on it and watch them in about the time it takes to watch a regular TV show.
I’m not sure what you’d call the idea or the genre or the collections. Again, bad with naming things. However, at least one musical title would have to be changed.
“The Sound of Music” just wouldn’t work and “The Sound of People Talking” isn’t really catchy.